Presenting at Work

I'm debating with myself about when, how or if I will start to present as female at work full time.

Right now I very rarely dress in bob mode. DJ'ing the wedding a few weeks ago was the last time I was completely bob mode. Even the gig I did last week I presented as female (completelly different gig,which I might one day talk about).

At my day job I wear female clothing, albeit with very androgynous look. But my hair is long, worn either down or in a pony tail that's kinda doubled up (hard to describe but it kinda looks like a ponytail but brought back up and tied again - words won't work on this one). Also, clear nail varnish and studs in my ears complete the picture.

So, I might not be fully presenting as female at work but I don't look the typical shirt and tie bloke.

My breasts aren't massive but are getting obvious. Now I know that partly because of my weight (good news to follow) and partly because I had gynecomastia, the hormones have had a head start. But for whatever reason, they are showing a lot sooner than I expected.

Despite all of this, I haven't had a single comment about how I dress or look. I think it's a case that most of us have worked together for such a long time, no ones noticed the gradual change.

To a certain extent I am happy with this situation. I'm getting to be me, i.e. behave and dress as I want to. However, this is only one part of the picture. Although I can be appear how I want, the world of work neither knows nor cares about the real me. The world of work still sees me as bob and so still treats me as bob.

So the debate goes on in my head. Everything has gone well so far. Should I be happy with my lot and just keep things as they are (despite the developing boobs), or do I push the boundaries that bit further and come out at work.

There is a large chunk of me that is very happy. Since I started taking hormones a lot of the symptoms of the dysphoria have reduced to very manageable levels. But there is still a voice that I recognise, muttering away in the background. It's the voice that has pushed me out of my comfort zone so many times in my life. It's the voice that has convinced me to take risks and try to achieve things that scare me.

So, for the moment I am happy with the status quo. The voice, however, has quite a track record at getting me to eventually do things I'd only previously dreamt about.