Dads

"All I wanted was a kick-a-bout in the park,
For you to race me home when it was nearly getting dark."

Glasvegas - Daddy's Gone.

Personally, I think it's a great song and it keeps popping up on my play-lists.

These two lines in particular always get to me. So today, when my son turned up with a football he'd won at school and wanted to go out and play, I was only too happy to.

Now there's no chance of me being like the Dad in the song. I won't be going anywhere. But, because of transitioning, I am always conscious of maybe robbing a bit of my sons possible memories of his Dad. Because of this I promised myself and my wife that I will always be Dad to him. Whether or not it involves doing things that aren't the stereotypical trans thing to do. I'll still be his Dad.

Maybe what makes the lyrics hit home especially hard is that my own Dad left us when I was very young. I remember little bits about him but not much. We certainly never played football.

Years later, I was about 16 and attempting to come out to my Mum. In amongst all the things she threw at me to make sure I got back in the closet (it worked) was the fact that she had once walked in on my Dad and he was dressed in woman's clothes.

So that was something else she could blame my Dad for.

Acne and being transsexual. Thanks Dad.