This morning was my first proper session at the speech therapist. I've been a few times to have a chat and to see how she can help but today was the first actual session.
I'm quite heartened by the initial assessment. Apparently my voice is quite soft and I'm breathing correctly when I speak. Ever since I sung in bands I have had an interest in voice and I think between this, teaching and presenting, which I have done quite a lot of, has helped with breath control.
It seems as if I am at a good starting point. So we went through exercises to start to raise the pitch to a comfortable and sustainable level and once this is done then I think we will work on resonance.
I had to smile though. Both of us had tickly coughs so we took it easy. The irony of going to speech therapy and both me and the therapist losing our voices did make me smile.
Wednesday 29 December 2010
Tuesday 28 December 2010
Tears again
I was on tooth fairy duty tonight. My little boy has lost another front tooth. So, as you do, I waited till he fell asleep, nipped into his room, got the tooth (rap it in a tissue, much easier to find) and replaced it with a pound (inflation).
Before that I'd been in my home office/studio playing on the PC and listening to music. So when I got the tooth I went back in, looked around for a safe place to put the tooth, opened a cupboard and found an old packet of photos.
Now when I say old, I mean the late 1960's. All in black and white and a lot of me when I was about 2 or 3. My Mum had had a serious accident at work and was recovering in a sea side convalescence home, so she looked really quite ill, while I looked a bit chubbier than I remember.
The memories came running back, especially when I saw a picture of me with the 2 girls I was friends with at the time. I can still remember wondering why we were treated differently. I can even to this day remember a dream where we were all dressed the same. Since I was no more than 4 at the time I can't imagine it was anything sexual.
Whether it is was seeing my Mum looking so ill or seeing me so young, still to feel the impact of gender dysphoria, I don't know. But the tears just came. I looked at my face, thinking that the only thing I was worrying about was how long I could stay out playing.
I'm happy with the way my life is progressing but sometimes the regret of missing what could have been gets too much.
Before that I'd been in my home office/studio playing on the PC and listening to music. So when I got the tooth I went back in, looked around for a safe place to put the tooth, opened a cupboard and found an old packet of photos.
Now when I say old, I mean the late 1960's. All in black and white and a lot of me when I was about 2 or 3. My Mum had had a serious accident at work and was recovering in a sea side convalescence home, so she looked really quite ill, while I looked a bit chubbier than I remember.
The memories came running back, especially when I saw a picture of me with the 2 girls I was friends with at the time. I can still remember wondering why we were treated differently. I can even to this day remember a dream where we were all dressed the same. Since I was no more than 4 at the time I can't imagine it was anything sexual.
Whether it is was seeing my Mum looking so ill or seeing me so young, still to feel the impact of gender dysphoria, I don't know. But the tears just came. I looked at my face, thinking that the only thing I was worrying about was how long I could stay out playing.
I'm happy with the way my life is progressing but sometimes the regret of missing what could have been gets too much.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
